The Broken Mirror

I spent my entire life consumed by the broken mirror entrée - never able to see myself exactly as I was, nor who I wanted to be.

I thought that if I could discipline myself into the person - the archetype, the stock character - that everyone wanted me to be, I could see myself in the mirror. I could be witnessed. I could deserve care. I could breathe.

i wanna stargaze with you
cause i saw the flicker
in your eyes
turns out
it was reflecting
the flames in mine

i wanna stargaze with you
knowing that i don’t need
to be in the midnight blue
to feel the velvet
wrap around me

starry starry night sky
just feeling free
feeling infinity, eternity
reflected in the broken
pieces off the wall

mirror, mirror
how did it feel to fall
and break to pieces?
reeling like a movie
or like a ferris wheel

going in circles
there with their couples
their binaries
eating ice cream
and funnel cake

how did it feel
to be the vessel
that filled you
with so much
hate

compulsory existence isn’t mine
it’s time i let go of this deadline
and held onto my lifeline
it’s always been there
like an acrobat trying to fly

i’m scared to jump
but hey, it’s just that time

i practiced on all those roller coasters,
those slip n’ slides, those waterpark rides

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